Polyamory
Published November 6th, 2008
Polyamory is the desire, practice, or acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It is sometimes abbreviated to poly. The defining characteristic of polyamory is belief in the possibility of, and value of, multiple romantic loving relationships carried out with the knowledge and consent of all partners concerned. Sex is not necessarily a primary focus in polyamorous relationships. Polyamorous relationships commonly consist of groups of more than two people seeking to build a long-term future together on mutually agreeable grounds, with sex as only one aspect of their relationship.
Forms of Polyamory include:
Polyfidelity, which involves multiple romantic relationships with sexual contact restricted to specific partners in a group. (group marriage)
Sub- relationships, which distinguish between "primary" and "secondary" relationships. (most open marriages)
Relationships between a couple and a third person. (Triad)
Relationships between a couple and another couple. (Quad)
Polygram, in which one person marries several spouses (who may or may not be married to, or have romantic relationships with, one another).
Swinging is "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple." Swingers are not looking for loving relationships with other people. They want sexual enjoyment.
Many people involved in polyamory are not swingers. Some are openly critical of swingers, contrasting their committed relationships with the recreational sex that, in their view, swingers practice. Others are not critical of swingers but simply do not regard themselves as belonging to the same group.
Some swingers may feel that they are on the border line of Poly, due to the fact that they are not only looking for sex but also friendship. But there is a difference between them that most people don't understand. The best way to put it so everyone can understand is, look at the relationship you have with your spouse or committed partner. If you are looking for that same kind of relationship with someone else but still plan to keep the relationship with your current partner than you are a poly. If you are only looking for sex and friendship with other people and only want a loving committed relationship with the person you are with than you are a swinger.
There are a handful of couples on swinger sites that are looking for Poly relationships. But most are just swingers. A swinger site is not for people looking for Poly relationships. They have other sites that are for Poly's.
You first need to talk to your partner and find out what it is that you are looking for together. As with swinging and Poly fidelity, loyalty, trust, honesty, dignity, respect, mutual support, communication, non-possessiveness all go hand in hand. Neither is to be entered upon lightly. If swinging is what you are interested in then a site like this is great for you both to enjoy. If it is poly than you might want to go to one of their sites.