A Guide to Sex Toys: Part 2
Published July 8th, 2008
Sex toys come in all shapes and sizes, and are meant for all kinds of different uses. This article is just meant to provide you with a basic overview of what’s out there and how it functions. Experimentation is the key to find out what you like- so have fun!
Dildos - a dildo is a one-piece toy that’s meant to be inserted vaginally (anal dildos also exist but they are shaped differently to prevent getting them lost up there). They come in any shape, size, and material you can imagine, from jelly to glass, from slim to enormous. You can buy a straight shaft, one with rings or bumps on it for sensation, or one that’s molded from a real cock. Think about what kind of stimulation you’d like to try to pick one that’s right for you.
Strap-on - a strap-on harness lets a woman wear a dildo like it was her own cock. Harnesses are made of different materials and fit on you different ways, so do some research and find one that looks comfortable to wear. Some harnesses have a pocket on the inside to place a small vibrator for the woman who’s doing the thrusting to enjoy.
Vibrators - Vibrators have moving parts that cause them to produce a buzzing sensation when turned on. The majority are battery-powered, although electric models do exist. Mostly they are used to stimulate the clitoris (they work on the penis too) although many can be inserted; they come in all shapes and sizes. The very smallest sit on rubber rings, and are meant to be worn around the cock or the tongue. You can also buy a small jelly vibrator on a harness that sits on the clitoris while you enjoy intercourse with your partner. Bullet-type vibrators are small and egg-shaped; they can be inserted and worn inside the vagina (if there is an attached string to pull it out by, that is). Some of these come with remote controls; you give that to someone else and let them torment you all night! If you want to carry your vibrator in your purse you can buy one disguised as a tube of lipstick! Then there are the larger dildo-shaped vibrators. Some are molded to resemble a cock, and some are just smooth plastic. Rabbit-type vibrators have a protrusion on the side of the shaft (usually shaped like a rabbit or some other animal) that rests on the clitoris when the vibrator is inserted, providing internal and external stimulation at the same time. The shaft of these is often functional also, with rotating or tumbling balls inside to cause it to gyrate. When choosing a vibrator, first you want to think about how you want to use it – alone or with someone else? You also want to consider strength of vibrations. Many vibrators come with multiple speeds so you can ratchet the vibrations up and down. If you are buying for the first time I would recommend getting cheap ones at first until you figure out exactly what you are looking for. Some of the larger models, like the rabbit, are extremely popular, but also very strong, which can be a great thing or a bad thing. You don’t want to spend a lot of money on a toy and then discover the vibrations are too weak or too jackhammer-intense for you to enjoy! In the long term, though, you get what you pay for – cheap vibrators will wear out much quicker than their more expensive counterparts. Take the batteries out when not in use to extend the life of your toy.
Anal toys - Anal dildos are similar to vaginal dildos, except that they have a flared base that sits outside and prevents them from slipping all the way in. They come in a wide range of sizes, but start much smaller than regular dildos in case you’re exploring that area for the first time. It’s extremely difficult to get a toy out of the anus once it’s all the way in there, so you should never put anything up there that wasn’t specifically designed for that purpose – all anal toys have a flared base or ring to prevent you from losing them. Besides the possibility of getting lost, the skin inside is much thinner and easier to damage and tear than the skin in the vagina – a rough edge on a molded toy could cause bleeding. So only use anal toys for anal play! Butt plugs are meant to be inserted and then worn for a period of time; they taper considerably right before the flared base to make them comfortable to leave in. You can wear them during vaginal sex for an increased feeling of fullness similar to double penetration, or you can wear them for a while before anal sex to stretch out and make the sex easier and more enjoyable. Anal beads are a series of plastic beads on a string; they should have a ring on the bottom to prevent them getting lost and so you can pull them out again. They can be worn during sex; pulling them out stimulates contractions that can cause or heighten an orgasm.
Cock rings - a ring that slides around the cock and constricts. These are worn during intercourse, because the cock ring prevents the flow of blood back out of the engorged penis; enabling a man to have a harder erection and sometimes to stay hard and delay orgasm for longer. Cock rings are made of different materials, and some work better than others; also, they work great for some guys but may not do anything for other men. If you’re experimenting with a cock ring, make sure you get a soft one (rubber or leather) that’s adjustable and slides easily on and off. Some rings are hard (usually hard rubber, plastic, or even metal) and could be difficult to get off during intercourse. And don’t use your ring for more than thirty minutes!
Lubricants - not a toy, but still an important addition to your toy chest! Lube enhances toy play and is necessary for anal play of any sort. There are basically two kinds of lubricants – water-based and silicone-based. Both types are safe to use with condoms (always check the bottle before you buy, though!). Silicone lubricants are slicker, last longer and won’t dry up on your skin; also you need a smaller amount than you would of a water-based. However, they are more expensive, taste bad, and have to be washed off when you’re done with soap and water – water alone won’t remove them. Water lubricants are cheaper, but they don’t last as long on your skin, so you may need to reapply. They do come in flavored and warming varieties, however! Be wary of using silicone lubricants with your toys – it will melt silicone toys and possibly jelly ones as well (I’ve heard different things but haven’t subjected my own toys to the test!) so protect your toys with a condom. If you are concerned about allergic reactions try a more expensive lube with fewer ingredients. You can buy both paraben and glycerin free water based lubricants (these two chemicals may be irritants to some people) so if you’re sensitive, check the label before you buy.
And finally, since this is a swinger’s website, there’s two more things I want to talk about – sex swings, and the Sybian. Most people don’t have the luxury of owning these items; they are expensive, and hard to explain when you have regular company over! However, as a swinger, if you visit clubs or parties you’ll probably have the chance to try both of these at least once.
Sex swings - This is a harness for supporting one partner completely off the ground while the other partner thrusts. Most of these screw into the ceiling, but for some models you can buy a freestanding base. Sex swings let you have sex in a variety of positions with very little effort – they can be a lifesaver to those who are having difficulty with regular intercourse (bad back, for example). You can probably take a turn on a sex swing at a swinger’s club or maybe even at a house party; they can be a lot of fun! If you really love the sex swing and aren’t worried about hiding that big hook in the ceiling from your kids, you can even purchase one yourself – they are expensive, but not prohibitively so. I would expect to spend around $200-$300 for one of these. Be careful when bargain-shopping; this is something you want to spend the money on and get a quality product!
Sybian - this is the Cadillac of sex toys. Basically it’s a large soft saddle with a rod protruding from the top. It comes with a number of different attachments you place over the rod, mostly cock-shaped, and then you straddle the Sybian and insert the toy in your vagina, where it vibrates and gyrates at the same time. There’s a remote control box with two different functions, so the speed of the vibrations and the gyrations can be controlled separately. The Sybian is extremely strong; turn it all the way up and you can hear it all through the house! This and the price tag ($1300-$1400 USD) mean it’s unlikely you’ll ever own one of these; however, several swingers clubs have these available for use. Try it if you get the chance – grab someone to work the controls, or do it yourself, and don’t forget to use a condom!
Disclaimer: I’m not an advice columnist; I have no degrees in psychology or human relationships. I’m just your average swinger who thinks about things a lot, and I thought it was a good idea to write down some of my own thoughts and opinions about the lifestyle. If this can help you in any way to navigate your own way through the lifestyle, that’s fantastic. But I may be wrong sometimes, and you should always remember to use your own best judgment.