Am I Sexy Enough for the Swinger Lifestyle
Published July 8th, 2008
In my time in the lifestyle, I’ve met many different kinds of people, to say the least. I’ve met teachers, nurses, and exotic dancers. I’ve met lawyers and stay-at-home moms. I’ve met construction workers, vets, office workers; web designers… the list could go on forever. One of the things you’ll realize soon after you enter the lifestyle is that it contains all different kinds of people, and we come in all ages and all shapes and sizes. So if you’re concerned that swinging isn’t for you because you won’t fit the profile, you’re mistaken. Everyone fits the profile, and I guarantee you if you attend local swinger events you will see people who look just like you.
From an outsider point of view, it might seem that swinging would be bad for your body image because people will be judging whether they want to hook up with you or not based on your physical appearance, and if you’re not attractive enough you won’t have much success. Nothing could be further from the truth. First of all, many swingers are looking for couples with compatible personalities to be their friends, or couples with similar interests they can hang out with sometimes on the weekends (in addition to sex, of course!). Most swingers are not just looking at your bodies to try and find a quick fuck. Whether you are online or at a social event, you will not be judged solely on your physical appearance but evaluated based on everything you bring to the table. Sexy is a quality that comes from within.
Another thing to consider is that swingers are as a rule very accepting of other people. We like to see people enjoying themselves, getting naked and having a good time. The vast majority of us aren’t perfect and we don’t care if anyone else is either, the important thing is that they are having fun. If you go to a club where nudity is allowed, you will never see someone asked to put their clothes back on. All of us are in this lifestyle together and most swingers understand the need to be supportive of each other as a group.
We cherish our differences in the lifestyle. The fact that not everyone looks the same is well balanced by the fact that not everyone finds the same things sexy. I firmly believe that there is someone (multiple people!) in the lifestyle for everyone. Not everyone is looking for the same body type or personality.
The other thing to realize is that you already know how sexy you are. Think about it -you are so sexy to your spouse that they are confident sharing you with others, knowing that other swingers will admire and desire you they way they do. As you begin to meet strangers who want to get to know you better, it will raise your awareness of your attractiveness in a way that doesn’t happen in the vanilla world. People don’t hit on you on a day-to-day basis if you’re with your spouse, or if they see that ring on your finger! At swinger events people are free to flirt with you if they want, and as you see how attractive you are to others you may soon realize you’ve been getting a lot more looks in the supermarket than you thought.
Eventually, you will see your confidence start to increase. The ability to please a partner who isn’t your spouse in bed will make you feel even more confident and sexy. And you will have the confidence that comes from having a wonderful relationship with your spouse – a relationship that is so strong it allows the two of you to share each other with others. Your new confidence will allow you to feel – and be! – Sexier than ever before.
Disclaimer: I’m not an advice columnist; I have no degrees in psychology or human relationships. I’m just your average swinger who thinks about things a lot, and I thought it was a good idea to write down some of my own thoughts and opinions about the lifestyle. If this can help you in any way to navigate your own way through the lifestyle, that’s fantastic. But I may be wrong sometimes, and you should always remember to use your own best judgment.