The Expectation: A 'Not So Good' Experience - Another True Story
Published April 15th, 2008
It was early spring and there was still a good chill in the air at night. The sitter arrived at about 6pm and we headed out. We had not been out like this for months - not really sure why. Sometimes life just keeps you from having fun as a couple. We have been so busy with the kids, jobs, the house, sickness, etc.. Tonight however was a night we were not going to miss. A big party organizer had made the semi-annual journey to our area to throw one of their events. There had been much discussion about this event online. There were a lot of couples scheduled to be there. It was being held in a renovated night club attached to a hotel.
When you go to a party like this, you never know what's going to happen. You could meet some people and get lucky, or not. Days earlier, we had noticed that a couple we had met once months before was planning on attending the party. There names were Mike and Tara. We emailed them and they suggested we go out to dinner before and share a room at the hotel with them also. It seemed like a real friendly offer so we accepted. After all, it meant a sure thing - if we don't meet people at the party, we still have Mike and Tara to have fun with.
So - at 6pm we were off to the restaurant where we were scheduled to meet them at 6:30. Once again, Josie was the confident one on the drive over - never showing one ounce of nervousness. I on the other hand started to feel my heart pound. I tried to tell myself that there was nothing to be nervous about. Didn't seem to work to well. I was sure I'd feel better once we had met them and we were having dinner.
We arrived on time, parked, and walked into the lobby. Mike and Tara were sitting waiting for us. We said hi and exchanged the usual hugs and made small talk until we got our table. We sat down and ordered our food. Josie and I immediately ordered a beer. Now don't get me wrong, we are not drunks, but we like to drink - especially before a party like this one. Mike thought about it and decided to get a beer, but Tara just ordered water. As the dinner progressed, our conversation went from discussing other couples we had met to things we had done to our homes, to TV shows. As we were finishing our food, we kind of ran out of things to talk about. It was one of those moments where you try to be positive but that voice in the back of your mind is telling you, 'You don't have much in common with these people'.
We paid the bill and decided to leave. It had been an ok meal, but I was left wondering if Tara was interested in me or not. After all, there had not been any signs. She had mostly just responded to our questions but never really volunteered anything.
We got in the car and followed them to the hotel where the party was. During the ride I tried to be my usual positive self while Josie was the realist - saying things like - 'I don't really think we have a lot in common with them'. While Josie was right, I tried to cling to the idea that we were spending the evening with them and sharing a hotel room with them. Maybe it was the feeling that we had already committed to them and if we broke it off now that they would be disappointed.
We had some trouble finding the hotel, but once we did we walked into the lobby and stood in line with them to check into their hotel room. While Mike was waiting, we stood with Tara off to the side. We could hear the music from the party thumping upstairs. This turned out to be quite an awkward moment because Tara was again very quiet. She just stood there and I couldn't think of what to say to her. I started thinking to myself 'Geez, I think I'm going to be fucking this woman later, but it doesn't seem to be working out in the personality department'. Then I thought, 'Oh well, if she wants to be cold, that's her problem’.
Mike finally got checked in and we were off to the room. He had brought an assortment of alcoholic beverages for us to drink so we could avoid paying drink prices at the nightclub. This turned out to be a great idea and saved us a lot of money. I poured myself a strong crown and coke and started to feel the effects. Tara finally had a drink also. I thought to myself 'Maybe she'll start to loosen up now'. We talked for about 15 minutes and then made out way out of the room and down to the party. There were a lot of couples - we knew some, but most faces looked new to us. We got checked in and walked over to a small table near the dance floor. We stood around with Mike and Tara for a while. We made chit chat with them and some other couples that would come over to talk with us. This went on for some time - and time started to fly.
At one point, Mike and Josie left to go to the room and get more drinks. I asked Tara to dance. She hesitated but then accepted. While dancing, she constantly had her head turned away from me. Her body language told me that she wasn't interested. I tried to get close to kiss, but no luck. We left the dance floor and sat back down. At this point I was pretty discouraged. I mean, this couple had claimed to be in the lifestyle for 8+ years. You'd think by now that they would have worked through any issues. Meaning, if she doesn't like me, they shouldn't be out with us in the first place. Was I not attractive to her? Did I have bad breath? What could it be?
Josie and Mike came back and I told Josie how I wasn't getting much from her in terms of signs. Now, I know Mike had given Josie signs that he was interested so there was not a problem there. Again, I decided to take the 'Fuck it' attitude and go with the flow. I noticed that Tara was drinking more so I moved in closer to her. I tried to move in for a kiss and she turned her head away. My kiss landed on her cheek. That was it. I wasn't going to try anymore. I was firmly convinced it was me - she's just not into me at all.
Josie grabbed Tara and started dancing with her. After all, Tara was bisexual like Josie so maybe we would see some sparks there. As they were dancing with each other, I stood behind Tara and Mike stood behind Josie. Josie and Tara did seem to hit it off. There was some touching and some making out. Not to the extent that I had seen before with other women, but it was nice to watch. There was a stripper pole on one side of the dance floor and Josie dragged Tara over there to try it out. They both swung around the pole and seemed to enjoy the show they were giving. Eventually they got down and we all made our way over to the bar.
I stood at the bar waiting to order a drink. I turned around and looked at the groups of other couples who were smiling and having a good time. Those people were obviously 'clicking' with each other. We had felt that way at other parties. Things had always seemed to work out for us in the personality department. I also noticed a number of couples sitting alone. These were not ugly or marginal people by any means - these were sexy and attractive couples. Now, looking back, this was the time where Josie and I should have broken away from Mike and Tara and went over to talk to one of the other sexy couples.
It was then that Josie came up to me at the bar. She had just gotten done having a conversation with Mike and said that he talked to her about 'later'. She said 'Basically, they only want me to do stuff with her'. Now, I was fine with this - I respect people’s wishes and boundaries, but it was now 1:00AM in the morning. People that were hooking up were already leaving, and people who had found nothing were getting tired or leaving also. On top of that, we were both mad. This couple never indicated that was all they wanted.
I basically shut down at that point and just stood at the bar. Josie went and talked to Tara who proceeded to tell her that she really doesn't like men at all - and that she doesn't even like sleeping with her husband!! Well – wouldn’t that piece of advice been nice to know earlier.
Josie and I exchanged a few last words with them and then moved away and sat down. We watched people slowly leave the party. We met one or two other couples and saw a few that we might be interested in, but the mood was dead. I told Josie I just wanted to leave so we did.
So what did we learn on this night? NEVER share a hotel room with another couple, and NEVER have any expectations. If we had followed those two rules, we would have had a great night. Also, as we later learned, it is never hard to find someone to hook up with at these parties. You have to remember why people are there. There is no other reason people will pay $40 to get into a party, pay for a sitter, pay for a hotel room, buy several overpriced drinks, and dress up in sexy clothes - except to GET LAID! People don't go through all that trouble just to make a few friends. People want results from a party like that and a smart couple can always capitalize on that knowledge.
Thank you for taking the time to read this collection of experiences my wife and I have had in the lifestyle. Our names are Mark and Josie. We have been in the Lifestyle for 4 years. Our goal with this was not to write a bunch of erotic swinger stories with exaggerated details and tall tales, but to write the REAL truth about our experiences. We try to talk about everything - the good and the bad. We love the lifestyle and it has made us closer than ever - but getting where we are today with it was not always an easy ride. There’s a lot that goes into having sex with those that you are not married to. Our hope is to give the non-swinger a feel for this interesting world and what REALLY goes on. This is a collection of different experiences we have had. Some are good - some not so good. Again, the goal here is to give the reader an insight into the mind of a swinging couple. We hope you enjoy.