How To Write A Good Lifestyle Swingers Profile With Pictures
Published April 25th, 2008
You’ll see it too many times if you haven’t already – the Typical Swinger Profile. If you aren’t already familiar with it, it goes something like this:
She is 5’4” slender redhead with big tits and shaved! She is very very into women. He is 6’1”, buff, works out, great cock and very oral! We are a happy couple with no drama, IF YOU HAVE DRAMA please move on. We just like to hang out and see where things go but have been known to play on first date if chemistry is there. If you like what you see send us an email we won’t disappoint you!
Now if you have any of those lines in your profile, please don’t think I’m insulting you, I’ve probably used several of them myself! There’s just so many ways to say the things you have to say, and so we all end up sounding alike. So the real problem with this profile is it doesn’t contain any information that distinguishes the couple from all the other swingers out there. What are some things you should think about when writing your profile to make sure you stand out from everyone else?
The first thing you should do is describe yourself and your partner. If you have a lot of pictures up, this isn’t as necessary, but I’m sure you have some great features you want to draw attention to. If there’s something about your partner’s body that you absolutely love, let everyone know!
You should also describe your personalities, just to let people know what to expect when they first meet you. If one or both of you is on the shy side when first meeting new people, it’s best to let them know ahead of time so they don’t just think you’re being quiet because you’re not into them. If you are very outgoing and find it easy to meet people this is a bonus and you should definitely mention it. “We are never rude or pushy” helps too; many swingers have had a bad experience with a pushy couple!
One thing that comes pretty standard in swinger’s profiles is the statement that they are totally in love and committed to their relationship and they come first and swinging comes second. Although it’s true of most couples in the lifestyle and should go without saying, you may want to consider putting this kind of disclaimer in anyway. If people see you’ve only been in the lifestyle a few months it’s especially good to let them know you have a strong relationship; this means they don’t have to expect any drama from you.
Another thing you may want to think about mentioning is your interests and hobbies outside the bedroom. If you already have a full social calendar and are looking to meet other swingers just for sex this probably isn’t necessary; but if you are looking for friends who happen to be in the lifestyle it’s good to have your profile stand out to people who have the same interests. For example, let’s say you have a boat and spend a lot of weekends at the lake; if you’re always with your family and can’t bring any “special friends” along then this really isn’t relevant information and doesn’t belong in your swinger’s profile. If you’re looking to meet couples who want to come along and jet-ski, though, then it is. It all depends on what kind of encounters you’re looking for.
There are two other things you should discuss, and you can think of them as your “swinging resume”: your past experiences, and what you’re hoping to get from swinging in the future.
Discussing your past experiences in the lifestyle lets others know where your comfort level is at. You can include the information of how long you’ve been together as a couple and how long you’ve been swingers. You can talk about some of the experiences you’ve had (we’ve hooked up with several nice couples from this site and had a great time) (we just went to our first hotel party and had a blast) (we’ve been in the lifestyle for seven years and have seen it all but are still coming back for more!). Of course, you’ll start out in the lifestyle with no experience, just like we all did. Once you’ve had some experiences you’ll want to think about going back and updating your profile. Some couples will be put off by newbies to the lifestyle; it’s because they’ve had a bad experience with a couple who wasn’t up front about their desires or who wasn’t ready for as much as they thought they were. So be honest about what you want, whether it’s full-swap or just to watch another couple having sex, and be clear that you are excited about the lifestyle and ready to explore.
Talking about the future gives you the chance to list exactly the experiences you’re hoping to have, whether it’s a full-swap situation or a FMF threesome. You can also discuss what you want from a lifestyle encounter in specific terms, i.e. “what we’d like to do on our date with you”. This will all give people a much clearer idea of what you are looking for than the usual “We are looking for people to play with us!”
Here’s an example of a profile from a new couple that I hope you would want to meet:
SwingCpl123
Description:
She is a petite brunette with sparkling green eyes. He is clean-cut, ex-military, with short brown hair. We both hit the gym when we have time; we may not be “buff” but we’re in good shape.
As far as our personalities go, she’s the outgoing one of the couple; she has an infectious laugh and makes friends everywhere she goes. He tends to hang back a little and size up the situation, but he’ll be the life of the party once he’s comfortable.
We have a Harley and have been riding for six years now; weekends usually find us out on the road if the weather is good, so if you want to go for a ride, hit us up!
Background:
We have been a couple for eight years and are new to the lifestyle, although we have experienced a threesome with one of her friends. We’ve been talking about our fantasies for a long time and only just realized there was a way to make them come true! We have been to a swinger’s club and had a great time; we can’t wait to go back. So far our experiences in the lifestyle have been soft-swap (girl-girl and some playing around, lap-dances, that kind of thing) but we’d love to meet a couple we both click with so we can “go all the way”!
What we want:
We are looking for: couples about our age and body type. You can be older but please don’t be our parents’ age! And we don’t expect you to be perfect, either, just look like you take care of yourself. Personalities are the number #1 turn-on for both of us, though, and we love to meet interesting people we can share a beer and a good conversation with. We don’t want couples who are pushy, rude, or not totally committed to each other and sure of what they want from this lifestyle. She is bi, that’s how we got started in this and she loves women, but she’s not attracted to every woman any more than she’s attracted to every man!
If we get to talking and decide to meet with you, we’d like to go out for dinner or cocktails first and get to know each other in a no-pressure environment. We are really looking forward to meeting someone we can full-swap with; it probably won’t happen on the first “date” since personalities are such a huge part of the equation for us. We aren’t scared off by experience and would love to be “shown the ropes” by a long-time swinging couple, but if you’re just looking to notch your bedpost we ain’t gonna fuck you, so move on. If all this sounds like something you’re interested in, drop us a line, we’d love to meet up with you sometime!
One last piece of advice for when you’re finished writing your profile: please check it for spelling and grammar! It makes it look like you put some effort into it.
Additional disclaimer: I typed both of these sample profiles up off the top of my head! They are not real swingers and are not meant to represent anyone I know.
The next major component in your Profile is your Swinger Pictures. Your Photo Album consists of Public and Private Photos. Having Pictures on your account is the best way to show other Swingers what you truthfully look like. It is always a good idea to keep updating your pictures periodically so that everyone will know the real you. So get out your digital camera and start taking some great pictures. First remember, most people want to see your face and body shape with clothes on, at least in the Public Album. Think of a seductive pose, or show off some of your best features. We also want to see both the Male and Female half if you are a couple. We don’t want to see just body Pictures. Seriously, there is no way I can tell what you look like just from a pussy picture or a dick only picture. I want to see your face and your body. I want to see that you are who you say you are with recent pictures of the both of you. Your Private Photos can contain any Swinging Photos, Body Shots, Face Pictures and so on to show the real you under the clothes. Then in the privates you can select only certain people to see that part of you. Pictures are the best way for you to represent yourselves as Real Swingers. Please make sure that your pictures are clear. It really does not matter what your pose is if they cannot tell what you are doing, now is the time to go for quality. Both the Swinger Pictures and the Profile are you best way to advertise what you have to offer your Swinging Community.
Good Luck, I look forward to reading many of the new updated profiles.
Disclaimer: I’m not an advice columnist; I have no degrees in psychology or human relationships. I’m just your average swinger who thinks about things a lot, and I thought it was a good idea to write down some of my own thoughts and opinions about the lifestyle. If this can help you in any way to navigate your own way through the lifestyle, that’s fantastic. But I may be wrong sometimes, and you should always remember to use your own best judgment.